13 Comments
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The Faraday Room's avatar

A lot to like about this - how the situation is never really explained but unfolds naturally, the focus on scent which is unusual but makes perfect sense for this character, and a nice payoff at the end.

Jeremy's avatar

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it, as well as the focus on scent. I wanted to try to play around with other senses, given the character, and it was a lot of fun to get to do from the writing side—glad it also works on the reading side.

Siobhan Gallagher's avatar

Ah, another 2nd-person story! It does sort of cut off before the climax; would've been nice to see more of this plan in action--or to not realize the plan until it's too late for the filthy handler. Muhaha!

Jeremy's avatar

Have a few more 2nd-person stories in the tank to slowly drip out. I am proud of how well it worked out in this one in particular, though. Dogs are fun haha

Siobhan Gallagher's avatar

!00% agree, we need more dog stories and 2nd-person stories.

Laura Teodorescu's avatar

This short story is a masterclass in weaving backstory naturally within the narrative. What a gem! You prove once again how multifaceted you are as a writer

Jeremy's avatar

Thanks so much, Laura! Always means a lot to me hearing you enjoy something. It’s got that Laura seal of approval!

JamesLuo's avatar

"Spasm"?

...He lifts his gaze, sees your eyes open, and a spam of hatred darkens his face....

"Spam" might work too, though!

J. Lashley's avatar

This was great, the subtlety of it all before the action starts at the same time things become just a bit more clear. Also devious dog haha.

Jeremy's avatar

Thanks so much, J! Really glad you enjoyed the devious dog :D

JamesLuo's avatar

Typo in grooves?

...a bad joke from the early days that got stuck in the groove’s of everyone’s collective gray matter...

Jeremy's avatar

Indeed. Thank you!

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jun 11
Comment deleted
Jeremy's avatar

Thank you!