Man, this is more dreadful than a lot of bloody/gory stories. The poor man just can't stay dead, no matter what he does, and has to live (?) with the knowledge that other people suffer or die just for him to be dragged out of eternal rest to fight with Scout. The last line made my stomach sink.
Thank you! That is the exact vibe I was going for. I wanted to try to write a ghost story where the living are more terrifying than the dead and explore that overall dynamic. I hope you still managed to 'enjoy' it :)
Oooh, I like--and I'm not a fan of present-tense, especially in third-person, but I think the omni narration makes it work in this case. The only thing I noticed (and this might just be me), is that the pacing sags a bit after the Eli reveal, but then picks back up again when talking about the cost of bringing Eli back. It's those tense exchanges that really makes dialogue pop.
Btw, off-topic, I'm curious how Substack compares to Medium. What's your impression?
Thanks, Siobhan! I almost entirely agree with you, and I generally always stick to past tense. But I wanted to try to play around here and try something a little different, so I'm glad you enjoyed it and the risk was worth it!
I think I can see what you're saying about it sagging a little. I wanted to let it and the situation breath, but I get how that affects the pacing. I think (if I can remember exactly the head space I was in when I wrote this) that I wanted to try to mirror some of that gothic feel where there's some tension and release, but having not really done this style before I could definitely have missed the mark a bit.
And Medium and Substack both honestly confuse the hell out of me. I think as bad as people say Substack is for fiction—which I don't know if I've truly noticed—Medium is worse. I've largely written and liked fiction or writing-related topics there, yet my "For You" on Medium is just full of people talking about how to use AI to write or how to make $X/day writing. I imagine there are good writer communities on there, but I haven't had any real luck forming connections there, while I feel like people here kind of click immediately ... or maybe I'm just lucky.
It's always good to try something different, and again, it works here. I've tried present tense as well, but never got a good handle on it unless it's in the steam-of-conscience style (which funnily, is the next story I plan to publish).
Oh, I wasn't getting much of a gothic vibe. Maybe because our characters are in a cheap hotel? Honestly, I was thinking more Pulp Fiction, haha. But again, it could be just me that sensed a sag. It kind of went from a serious place, of Eli admitting, as a spirit, that he was in pain, to him jokingly suggesting he go disrupt the fucking going on in the next room. But maybe he was just diffusing the situation. Scout is very clearly a crazy girlfriend (and I think I might know why Eli put a bullet to his head).
But ultimately, I feel like this is a story that should've wound up in a magazine.
I've tried looking up the differences between Substack and Medium, but they're always incredibly bias sources. And seeing as a number of authors I follow on Youtube use Substack, that's what I went with. I guess some people call Substack a "Nazi Bar", but I haven't really seen that. I assume those who say that are just Bluesky users. 😂
Haha yeah, the cheap hotel does throw the vibe a bit! But I was torn about including that part. I wanted something to humanize Eli a little more and show what he and Scout had or how they used to interact. But appreciate if it didn’t land for you!
Oh man, though, saying it could’ve been in a mag is like the best and worst compliment I could get haha. I’ve never had any major luck with submissions, and I don’t really know what I’m doing shopping stories around. Which is one of the reasons, in addition to wanting to meet other writers, why I’m just sharing here. But thank you! Glad you thought it was strong enough for that.
And yeah, there’s no good way to compare them aside from using them. People seem to love (or at least tolerate) one or the other. I think Medium is far user to jump in and use, but I found the community building aspect to be significantly lacking. I also heard about the Nazi bar analogy for Substack, which kept me away for a while, but haven’t encountered any of that either. Haha hoping to keep it that way! But yeah, it may just be a Bluesky thing … those guys can get pretty intense.
It makes looking for markets soooooo much easier. I personally only submit to paying markets since I do value my time, and also eliminates a bunch of cheapo publications (seriously, you can't throw the price of a coffee at an author?)
Bluesky is the definition of the inmates running the asylum. 😂 But I like that people seem more chill on Substack, but I also keep to the fiction/literary corner.
Hey, who are we if we don't take the big shots even if it's not worth the time? 😂
But this is awesome, thank you! For the longest time, I'd been basically shooting in the dark and using a Google sheet to track stuff. Only recently have I started using Chill Subs, which seems like a prettier but less robust version of The Grinder; a quick glance, and it seems like this has significantly more fantasy/sci-fi publications listed.
I think at this point, the main thing I have to think about is what I want to accomplish with my writing ... which I've never really thought about before, as I would mainly just do the digital equivalent of locking my stories in the drawer. But I need to get a feel for when it's worth trying to submit a story somewhere, and when it's worth just publishing here.
And very much so re: Bluesky haha. But I do find it entertaining! Maybe that just means I also belong in an asylum...
You're welcome. 😉That was a benefit of writing forums is that you had other writers exchanging useful stuff like this. And I'm kind of surprised not more of it is happening here. Too many snake oil gurus, I guess. And yeah, The Grinder is definitely more genre oriented--and will remain free forever! As promised by the owner, who started The Grinder because Duotropes went subscription-based, which almost everyone I knew had been using previously.
It wouldn't hurt to find a few markets you'd like to appear in--or pays well, hehe--and try submitting there, and then if no takers, put it up here. Because once you publish a story on here, it can only then be considered a reprint there after, which limits where you can submit it to.
The only exception I'm making for myself is novelettes/novellas as those are near-impossible to find a home, but I still want to write stories that are *over* 5K.
Well, we are all a little crazy, but some are crazier than others, haha.
Man, this is more dreadful than a lot of bloody/gory stories. The poor man just can't stay dead, no matter what he does, and has to live (?) with the knowledge that other people suffer or die just for him to be dragged out of eternal rest to fight with Scout. The last line made my stomach sink.
Thank you! That is the exact vibe I was going for. I wanted to try to write a ghost story where the living are more terrifying than the dead and explore that overall dynamic. I hope you still managed to 'enjoy' it :)
Oh, I definitely enjoyed it. I was hooked until the end!
Oooh, I like--and I'm not a fan of present-tense, especially in third-person, but I think the omni narration makes it work in this case. The only thing I noticed (and this might just be me), is that the pacing sags a bit after the Eli reveal, but then picks back up again when talking about the cost of bringing Eli back. It's those tense exchanges that really makes dialogue pop.
Btw, off-topic, I'm curious how Substack compares to Medium. What's your impression?
Thanks, Siobhan! I almost entirely agree with you, and I generally always stick to past tense. But I wanted to try to play around here and try something a little different, so I'm glad you enjoyed it and the risk was worth it!
I think I can see what you're saying about it sagging a little. I wanted to let it and the situation breath, but I get how that affects the pacing. I think (if I can remember exactly the head space I was in when I wrote this) that I wanted to try to mirror some of that gothic feel where there's some tension and release, but having not really done this style before I could definitely have missed the mark a bit.
And Medium and Substack both honestly confuse the hell out of me. I think as bad as people say Substack is for fiction—which I don't know if I've truly noticed—Medium is worse. I've largely written and liked fiction or writing-related topics there, yet my "For You" on Medium is just full of people talking about how to use AI to write or how to make $X/day writing. I imagine there are good writer communities on there, but I haven't had any real luck forming connections there, while I feel like people here kind of click immediately ... or maybe I'm just lucky.
It's always good to try something different, and again, it works here. I've tried present tense as well, but never got a good handle on it unless it's in the steam-of-conscience style (which funnily, is the next story I plan to publish).
Oh, I wasn't getting much of a gothic vibe. Maybe because our characters are in a cheap hotel? Honestly, I was thinking more Pulp Fiction, haha. But again, it could be just me that sensed a sag. It kind of went from a serious place, of Eli admitting, as a spirit, that he was in pain, to him jokingly suggesting he go disrupt the fucking going on in the next room. But maybe he was just diffusing the situation. Scout is very clearly a crazy girlfriend (and I think I might know why Eli put a bullet to his head).
But ultimately, I feel like this is a story that should've wound up in a magazine.
I've tried looking up the differences between Substack and Medium, but they're always incredibly bias sources. And seeing as a number of authors I follow on Youtube use Substack, that's what I went with. I guess some people call Substack a "Nazi Bar", but I haven't really seen that. I assume those who say that are just Bluesky users. 😂
Haha yeah, the cheap hotel does throw the vibe a bit! But I was torn about including that part. I wanted something to humanize Eli a little more and show what he and Scout had or how they used to interact. But appreciate if it didn’t land for you!
Oh man, though, saying it could’ve been in a mag is like the best and worst compliment I could get haha. I’ve never had any major luck with submissions, and I don’t really know what I’m doing shopping stories around. Which is one of the reasons, in addition to wanting to meet other writers, why I’m just sharing here. But thank you! Glad you thought it was strong enough for that.
And yeah, there’s no good way to compare them aside from using them. People seem to love (or at least tolerate) one or the other. I think Medium is far user to jump in and use, but I found the community building aspect to be significantly lacking. I also heard about the Nazi bar analogy for Substack, which kept me away for a while, but haven’t encountered any of that either. Haha hoping to keep it that way! But yeah, it may just be a Bluesky thing … those guys can get pretty intense.
There are still a few good magazines out there . . . just not the pro-paying ones. And yet, I still submit to them. 😋
I don't know if you're familiar with The Grinder: https://thegrinder.diabolicalplots.com/
It makes looking for markets soooooo much easier. I personally only submit to paying markets since I do value my time, and also eliminates a bunch of cheapo publications (seriously, you can't throw the price of a coffee at an author?)
Bluesky is the definition of the inmates running the asylum. 😂 But I like that people seem more chill on Substack, but I also keep to the fiction/literary corner.
Hey, who are we if we don't take the big shots even if it's not worth the time? 😂
But this is awesome, thank you! For the longest time, I'd been basically shooting in the dark and using a Google sheet to track stuff. Only recently have I started using Chill Subs, which seems like a prettier but less robust version of The Grinder; a quick glance, and it seems like this has significantly more fantasy/sci-fi publications listed.
I think at this point, the main thing I have to think about is what I want to accomplish with my writing ... which I've never really thought about before, as I would mainly just do the digital equivalent of locking my stories in the drawer. But I need to get a feel for when it's worth trying to submit a story somewhere, and when it's worth just publishing here.
And very much so re: Bluesky haha. But I do find it entertaining! Maybe that just means I also belong in an asylum...
You're welcome. 😉That was a benefit of writing forums is that you had other writers exchanging useful stuff like this. And I'm kind of surprised not more of it is happening here. Too many snake oil gurus, I guess. And yeah, The Grinder is definitely more genre oriented--and will remain free forever! As promised by the owner, who started The Grinder because Duotropes went subscription-based, which almost everyone I knew had been using previously.
It wouldn't hurt to find a few markets you'd like to appear in--or pays well, hehe--and try submitting there, and then if no takers, put it up here. Because once you publish a story on here, it can only then be considered a reprint there after, which limits where you can submit it to.
The only exception I'm making for myself is novelettes/novellas as those are near-impossible to find a home, but I still want to write stories that are *over* 5K.
Well, we are all a little crazy, but some are crazier than others, haha.
"He is three feet and an eternity away." always gets me right in the feels. So beautifully haunting.